Clover Madison

I think it has potential. Just try not to make it too cliche'. The whole taking over Microsoft thing could be pretty entertaining. I say go for it and see ...

I like it. do you have a title? It reminds me of history and I love history, so that's a good thing.

Thank you so much! I loved your comments, they really helped me see what the reader was seeing. My changes in tense are definatly a problem...thanks for pointing them out. ...

Thank you so much for the nice comments - I look foreword to reading your comments. Sorry about the whole ? mark thing It changed it when I did copypaste. ...

I am surprisingly not offended at fact your comment made me laugh. Mostly because: a. Siri is also my favorite Harry Potter character by a long shot and b. MADE ...

Yeah...I had to use literary techniques for class and that's an alliteration so I went for it. Otherwise I'd have never written it like that. Smack! - it's an onomatopoeia ...

This is really good. Your detail is amazing. There are only a few things that bothered me - first just be careful with a character so young, don't make her ...

The Alex Rider series is amazing for both boys and girls. I recommend them all the time to people looking for books. If you want a fun, fast, action-packed read ...

I have this story posted on another site and there its not really that long but now that you mention it it would be better in this forum style to ...